Celeb: Tomkat and the silent birth

Okay, yeah, Tomkat discussions are dime a dozen and they are all over the TV news. But, hey, why can’t I join in?

So, we all know that the birth of their kid is supposed to be a silent birth with no noise, etc.

Well, here is my suggestion. I think while Katie is giving birth to the son of satan, they should put Tom’s genitalia in a vise. For every cm that Katie dialates, they should compress the vise that same amount. Let’s see how silent he will be.

Celeb: Boo hoo hoo for Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise is in the news whining about how his father was a bully and a coward.

“He was a bully and a coward,” the 43-year-old actor says of his father, Thomas Cruise Mapother III.

As Justin Timberlake said, “Cry me a river.”

Seeing through this whining, we can see it is an attempt by Cruise and his Image Marketing Team to try and repair his existing, crappy public image.

Let’s all feel sorry for Tom and his hard chidlhood life.